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Breaking your own street smart rules

3/11/2017

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Picture
How many awareness/street smart blunders can you find in this photo? Comment & describe them in the comment section.
I did a women’s self defense corporate seminar in DC for a proactively-thinking street-smart group.  Several of the ladies shared some of their experiences with how they live day-to-day, head on a swivel, maneuvering to avoid individuals that seem sketchy, and for them it is a lifestyle they have already taken to heart.
 
I was talking about awareness and I asked them, “how many of you talk on the phone or text regularly when you are commuting?” Very few hands went up. How many of you KNOW that it’s not a great idea to be on the phone texting, somewhat distracted while commuting?  All hands went up.

Then I asked them a follow-up, “what about when you don’t know where you’re going and are trying to get your bearings straight?  How many of you will pull out your phone and GPS where you’re going while walking?”  Most of them raised their hands, sheepishly.

Those of us who take our responsibility to safety seriously need to take a look at holes in our game.  We need to analyze where our safety-gaps are and look for patterns of behavior where we break our own personal safety rules and exhibit less-aware tourist-like behavior.
To look at it from another angle, do you feel more or less vulnerable to something bad happening to you when you don’t know where you are going? For most people I would say more vulnerable, particularly in that you are focusing on an additional stressor, where am I and where is my destination?

Compound that with switching critical focus between your phone in-hand and looking at your surroundings trying to follow where to go and you are significantly more distracted and not likely to see someone assess or approach you.
There are always times when you will have to improvise and deal with things on the fly, but for many situations, a little work up-front can make you capable of being more aware and less fixated on figuring out where you are or where you are headed.

Do your homework upfront.
One way to compensate for that is by looking things up ahead of time.   You can use Google maps and get a street view of exactly where you are heading-before you get in the car to go there.  Even better would be to identify the close landmarks on both sides of your destination using the street-view, so that you know where you are without relying on just your GPS. 

As an example, I frequently travel to places in DC that have never been to when I do corporate self defense seminars for office employees.  I can be near my destination and still have no idea where it is relative to the best location for parking. 

For me, pre-planning my commute means less stress, and less stress across the board means more brain-computing power for other stuff.

Train smart & stay safe,

Evan D.
Owner/Lead Coach
NOVA Self Defense

How many street-smart blunders do you find in this photo? Comment below on the ones you can identify- you'll have to think outside the box for a few.  I'll post the answer key after I get a few responses.

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 3E's: also works for odd encounters that weird you out

3/9/2017

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Picture
Photo from the park referenced in this article. Imagine how much more sketched out she would be if I approached shirtless and shoe-less.
Today I was able to practice what I preach while teaching an outdoor private lesson in the park near my house.

Empathy-Excuse-Exit- is a template I teach for disengaging from someone on the street that you do not want to talk to.  It also works for non-threatening people that just plain weird you out.

While my client and were taking turns back and forth trying to punch each other in the face, practicing covering up with our forearms a man approached us.  This guy gets much closer than I would have usually allowed without addressing him first; my vision was tunneled and most of my focus was on the known threat, a punch to the face, which was occupying my awareness, so I didn’t see him approach.

The way he’s dressed is an outlier that requires immediate attention, he’s shirtless and shoe-less, and walked a pretty long ways through dirt and gravel to approach us.  It’s super weird. There are little kids everywhere on recess in this park, my client and I are attempting to punch each other in the face and he and I are no longer the weirdest person in the park.

He asks, “Can either of you do a woman’s voice for me?”

Mentally I check to make sure I’m not on the set of the movie Deliverance.

Empathy: Me: “Sorry man.”
Excuse: “I can’t”
My client John also says no.

He asks again, & attempts to explain why: I’m trying to bla, bla, something about pretending to be his wife for his mobile phone company confirmation…sounds like committing fraud, to explain why he wants a woman’s voice.  

I don’t know this guy, though he doesn’t seem threatening to me because he’s being super friendly about what he’s asking for, but he's not fully dressed and asking for something weird and uncomfortable to me.  Regardless of what he’s asking, I do not want him to get any closer & certainly don’t want to help him with his weird, ethically questionable request.  Fortunately, he does not encroach closer and maintains about 10 feet away with conversation attempts continuing.

Sometimes individuals will utilize guilt as a way of getting what they want.  He attempts again and tries to use guilt to bait us to comply with his request:

“Come on, help me out. You just have to say a couple words.”

I attempt my 3’E’s again- escape isn’t needed yet because of space and proximity.

Empathy: Me:” Sorry man, I can’t do a woman’s voice.”
Excuse, strengthened: “I’m getting over a cold and my voice is raspy and deeper than usual.” (As a subtly manipulate my voice and make it sound more raspy).

He finally leaves.  My objective is complete.

Changing a few variables in this situation could have drastically changed the perceived threat and response from someone else. If this man had approached a woman who was by herself or one of the caretakers of the many 3-5 year olds running around, she would have probably been significantly more on-edge and freaked out by a shirtless shoe-less man making a strange request and encroaching into her personal space.

Reflection on why I manage encounters this way:

What do I have to gain from this encounter?
  • Committing fraud for someone else
  • Letting someone I do not know get super close to me
  • Helping a shirtless-shoe-less stranger with an odd reques
​Compare that with: what could I be putting at risk by letting my guard down and having this person get really close to me  given that I don’t really know their full intent?

Key point: It’s not your duty to be everybody’s hero.  When in doubt, be selfish and cautious when it comes to your personal space and strangers.
 
Be smart & stay safe,
Evan Dzierzynski
Owner/Lead Coach
NOVA Self Defense

I would be interested to hear about some of your encounters and how you have managed attempts from someone to engage you or ask something of you.  Please comment below or on the FB post!



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