This is something that happened to me in college about 12 years ago.  At the time I was 19 and knew nothing about self-defense, fighting, or what I would later learn was intuition.  My friend and I were heading to catch the bus back to campus from a party (probably a random house party, cringe) on a street called Brent Road, a rowdy street at the time which was a prime location for house parties at NC State University.  It was dark, probably about midnight, and we were in a dimly-lit secluded area.  By the way, this is how every campus-wide alert email begins that is followed by somebody getting robbed or attacked. 

As we were walking I could see three guys up ahead, tall, shady-looking, wearing hooded sweatshirts with the hoods drawn over their heads, walking three-abreast in our path on the sidewalk.  I felt uncomfortable as distance closed, their group walking slower than the two of us.  When we tried to walk past them their leader blocked our path, poked my buddy in the chest with is finger and calmly said, in street-speak, “give us your cash.” 

I didn't see a weapon, but I reacted immediately.  I was gone. I bolted across the wide two-lane street and was immediately on the other sidewalk.  Then my conscience hit: “Oh shit! I just ditched my friend back there with three guys.” I didn't know the first thing about fighting, but now I was checked-in and ready to go.  So I bolted back across the street ready to do something, though not knowing what to do.  When I got back to the group, the alpha-mugger had lowered his hood and was laughing; he had spotted us walking from afar and thought it would be a good prank. It was one of our fraternity brothers.  My buddy was in offended disbelief that I had ditched him and I felt pretty guilty and embarrassed about doing so.  I had reacted instinctively, before conscious decision-making was possible.  My instincts had grabbed the wheel.

Reflecting back after years of experience teaching self-defense, I am aware of plenty of pre-incident indicators that something wasn't right: late at night, not the greatest area, 3 guys with hoodies up walking unusually slowly, and having an uncomfortable feeling.  To sum up that night, there were red flags in every component of the situation: the environment, the advancing strangers, but most importantly – my gut.

However, my not knowing what to look for or how to listen to my intuition left me unable to proactively avoid or address the situation prior to contact.  Years later, this experience has become a valuable teaching example of what a fight-or-flight reaction can feel like, but at the time I didn't understand why I ran.  Why did I run? Not, why did I ditch my friend, but why was running my selected option?  Here’s a consideration that makes sense to me after many years later of training. Running was my default option because it was the only option in my skill set and the only thing I had ever practiced!

I am a firm believer that your options are a product of your experiences, training, and prior knowledge.  If you imagine these three components as overlapping spheres where they intersect is what you are likely to have as elements that can influence your potential actions/options, with the fight or flight response always present and capable of taking the wheel.  Without understanding the pre-cursors to violent behavior and not having any trained physical responses, I ran!  Today, I would like to think that my knowledge, training, and life experiences have grown significantly have providing me with more pro-active options, such as identifying the threat and getting the hell out of there before contact as well as relevant, rational options if other physical action was required.

So, for my friends that think I'm safe if I hang out with Evan- while that could be true, you better be able to out-run me, just in case.

Feel free to share any fight or flight experiences you have had, even if they are embarrassing like mine!

Train smart & stay safe,

Evan D
NOVA Self Defense
www.novaselfdefense.com

We are offering a 2-hour women's self defense class at Ballston Crossfit on Saturday January 10th from 3:00-5:00pm.   
 
We will begin the session with a discussion on becoming less of a target, understanding situation awareness, listening to your gut instinct and intuition, and learning about the psychological and physiological effects of fear and how to overcome fear in an escalating situation.




Other personal protection concepts covered:

• Verbal scenario: assert yourself using Ask-Tell-Make for dealing with unwanted creepy male encroachment
  
• Learn to strike!  Practicing simple striking mechanics
• Learn to defend against some common attacks!
• Practice under pressure: we will simulate some of the grabs/attacks wearing protective gear, allowing you to practice what you have just learned under stress

You may bring one supportive MALE with you to this training event for FREE

Click on our Upcoming Training page to register

Prompted by recent attacks on realtors, I have recently conducted several personal safety seminars for local real-estate offices designed to address some safety considerations.  Although these personal safety concepts are written particularly for those in the real estate industry, they can apply to any type of home services or sales jobs where a service provider or salesperson goes on-site for work in a non-public location.






The safety concerns for realtors and service providers who travel to homes that stand out to me are:

• Meeting an unknown person alone in a vacant property
  
• Being alone while showing an open-house 
  
• Encroachment and confrontation from an occupant (homeowner, renter, squatter, etc.)
  
• Showing or visiting a home in an area known to have high crime rates
  

I was relieved to hear that some of these are not common practice, particularly meeting a new client alone in a vacant property.  There are several preventative safety protocols that can be taken to mitigate risk, such as notifying your coworkers and family members about your schedule and locations, showing open houses with another person present, and meeting your clients publicly before taking them to see properties. However, I was informed that real-estate agents do not always have the luxury of having another person present at an open house, and anybody can just drop in.  

A few realtors in a recent seminar expressed that at some point in their career, they had a bad feeling about someone they encountered while working or commuting to work.  The most important piece of advice I have with respect to on-site jobs is listening to your instincts and intuition.  If something doesn't feel right before entering a property, don’t go in.  If something feels off when you’re already engaged at a property, make an exit.

Understand that attacks can be deception-based or immediate ambush based.  Deception-based meaning that they attacker could be acting as potential buyers wanting to view a house with the aim of getting you into a secluded, vacant house with the intent to assault or rob you.  The physical attack itself is still an ambush; an attacker could attack on first contact or when he thinks you are unaware, for example, when you have your back turned unlocking a door.

The first thing to watch is where the person directs their attention.  The person you are dealing with should have their attention mostly centered on the product or the service!  Your client should be focusing on exploring the environment, and not primarily fixated on you. 

One thing you can do if you feel uneasy is to set up the expectation that you will not be alone.  If you do end up in a situation where you are forced to meet someone alone at a vacant property, you can set up the expectation that someone else will be arriving.  For example, you could say,

“Please don’t be alarmed when someone else walks in.  One of my colleagues is showing this house to a couple and he’s a few minutes behind me.”

Anyone who does not have bad intentions will not think twice about this statement.  It will not register with them and will not matter. However, pay close attention to any behavioral changes or responses to this statement and listen to your gut instinct.   Any change in behavior should be a clear indication that something is not right.  If your statement makes them uneasy, this is a huge red flag.  You have stated that the two of you will not be alone for long, and a potential attacker does not want other people present. 

Promptly after saying this, you should contact (by text or call) an emergency contact (partner, office worker, local authorities) to let them know that you are in a position that you feel unsafe.  If you have an emergency strategy for contacting help in place ahead of time, all you are doing is implementing the plan.  If you haven’t preemptively made a plan, you cannot expect others to quickly grasp that you are in need of help.  Keep in mind that your safety is in YOUR hands.  If you need to make an exit, do so.  If you are attacked, fight!

Remember that you are the expert in your line of work.  You understand what normal behavior looks like, so trust your gut when it tells you something is not “normal.”  When something is not right be vigilant, and when necessary, take action to remove yourself from the situation.

Train smart & stay safe!

Evan D.
Owner/Lead Coach
NOVA Self Defense
www.novaselfdefense.com

NOVA Self Defense offers self-defense and personal safety training for real estate agencies and other corporate entities in the Washington DC and the surrounding areas. To set up a training event please email: [email protected]