Many of you at one point or another may have heard someone say, "Just give them what they want and they won't hurt you" or "If you try to resist, you are just going to get hurt". This line of reasoning presumes by acting submissive and giving in to the predator, then you are more likely to survive the encounter unharmed. However, someone who threatens with violence to get what they want probably picked you because they assumed you would do just that.

Recently, while doing some research to prepare for a seminar, I came across a study from 2005 that provides some data indicating fighting back does not increase your chances of getting hurt. Furthermore, it does increase your chances of preventing the assault, specifically in the case of this study it was rape. The authors reviewed data from the National Crime Victimization Survey and determined that "self-protection actions", that is defending oneself, did not have a significant impact on the injury outcome of victims. The did detect a significant reduction in rape completion when self-protection actions were taken.

For the full article, click here: https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/grants/211201.pdf

Scott V.
Lead Coach

Do you know someone in a relationship with a very possessive or jealous partner? Are they constantly afraid of what their significant other might think about their actions? Do they check in frequently or get numerous questions about their activities? Are they frequently having “accidents” or trying to hide injuries and bruises? These are all signs of an abusive relationship.

Whether it’s you or a friend in an abusive relationship, the most important thing you can do is seek help. Numerous resources exist for victims of abuse. I have listed a few below. However, none of these resources work if you do not choose to take action. If it’s a friend, make the effort to ask them if something is wrong and offer to help. If you find yourself in one of these situations, you need to make the decision to defend yourself. Not by physical action, rather by acknowledging that you need help and reaching out to family, friends, or one of the resources below.

http://www.thehotline.org/

http://www.helpguide.org/topics/abuse.htm

http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/dsm/dviolence/rscorganizationsatoz.htm

http://www.dccadv.org/

Gavin de Becker in his book The Gift of Fear describes how victims of abuse can come to believe that they are not worth protecting. This false perception is similar to a problem in self-defense situations where certain people, particularly women, will do anything to protect others (e.g., children) but not themselves. Tony Blauer’s solution to overcome this mental obstacle is to identify something that is personal, passionate, and present, whether it is your son, daughter, favorite food, or something else entirely. Then you can use this to create a sense of indignation by realizing the attacker or abuser is trying to take that thing away from you. If you are no longer around, who is going to care for and protect your children?

No form of abuse can be justified. Regardless of if its spousal abuse, child abuse or date rape, it should not be tolerated. If you recognize the signs, offer to help. If you find yourself in one of these difficult situations, know that help is there for you.

It was an honor to help Tony Blauer and the PDR team at the annual camp this past weekend.  There were about 150 people in attendance this time around, all looking to learn about or increase their knowledge about Personal Defense Readiness. Underground Strength Coach Zach Even-Esh was a guest presenter at the camp this year.  He ran a series of dynamic warm-up drills and gave a thought-provoking lecture about mental toughness.  One of the key takeaways from his story was becoming comfortable with the uncomfortable.  This advice transcends fitness and self-defense training and can be applied to many aspects of life.

Every time I hear Coach Blauer lead a session I come away with something new. I'm still amazed at how powerful his stories are, even after six years of hearing him teach.  Coach discussed how often the true "first responders" to a situation are not the police, fire fighters, or military; rather they are ordinary civilians and the persons being victimized themselves. His vision, and a compelling one to be sure, is to ensure that as many of these "first responders" as possible are prepared to defend themselves, their family, and those things that are personal, passionate, and present to them. The S.P.E.A.R. system makes this possible by demystifying self-defense training; making it possible for anyone to improve their emotional, psychological, and physical skill-sets to get challenged and take appropriate action in the face of fear and violence.