We recently conducted one of our Kid-Safe seminars for families of Fort Belvoir.  Kid-Safe is an educational safety training with the goals of educating parents about how to talk to their kids about safety and teaching kids some simple tips on how to deal with the issue of strangers.  The kids get a lot of practice in some simple verbal and physical role-play drills when we verbally engage them and have them respond appropriately and run away to get help or yell and fight back to escape.  At the end of the session we role-play scenarios of attempting to grab and pick up the kids wearing padded protective gear, which gives them a chance to put what they learned to test full speed, beating up on us, which is a blast for them.  We were pleased to find out that several of the kids had been offered similar training in school, since this was not their first time experiencing this training some of them were able to get into action quicker.


If you're interested in setting up a safety and kid-self defense seminar, you can read more about Kid-Safe here

Train smart & stay safe,

Coach Evan
Owner/Lead Coach
NOVA Self Defense

We had a great question after a group of ladies role-played our Ask-Tell-Make scenario.  One woman asked, “Can I go straight to yelling?” In other words, can I go straight to MAKE?

As a quick recap, Ask-Tell-Make is a means for dealing with unwanted encroachment when you do not know the person's intent but it does not seem immediately dangerous.  

Students respond to unwanted attention the following escalating manner: 
ASK- a polite response, “No thanks, I'm fine.”
TELL- a firm, irritated response, “I-said-NO.”
MAKE- projecting loudly in a rude manner, “Back up!”  or “Back the f**k up!”  

In each stage the individual's hands are out as a body-language barrier giving emphasis the verbal message of don't come any closer.

As mentioned in the initial post, this can be uncomfortable because we are socially programmed to be polite.

So, about this person who does not seem immediately dangerous, what could his intent be? 

• Non-harmful, innocent, or oblivious: the attempt is to offer help with something or ask you a question (time, directions, small-talk,etc.)
• Sexual interest in you and attempting to converse with and pick you up.
• Malicious intent and feeling you out to see if you are an easy target

The purpose of Ask-Tell-Make is two-fold: 

1. You are assessing this person’s intention through his verbal and nonverbal cues.
2. You are progressively scaling up the intensity of your response if he fails to acknowledge your assertion of NO. 

But is there ever a time when you can skip Ask & Tell and go straight to MAKING the person stop?  That is:   
"Can I go straight to MAKE?"

If you feel that you are in immediate danger, YES.  If somebody is encroaching into your space or does something that quickly escalates your discomfort and gut-feeling, you can go straight to “MAKE” by yelling, “back up”, “back off” "back the f**k up" or anything that is pertinent to the situation.  

An assertive or more aggressive verbal response can deter a less-motivated pursuer’s attempt to close distance and also prepare you mentally to fight by helping to snap you out of the downward spiral of denial “...no, this isn't happening.." 

A verbal assertion can be effective for individuals who are not committed to an attack.  However, “MAKE” can also mean physically halting their attempt into your personal space by any reasonable means necessary.  

If the person is persistent on closing distance into your physical space, a more aggressive response of “MAKE” such as physically halting their attempt into your personal space by shoving or even striking pre-emptively are options to consider, especially if you feel doing so would be necessary to facilitate your escape.

The takeaway message, when appropriate:  going straight to MAKE can deter a less-motivated encroacher, but more importantly, it helps to kicks you into action.

The Ask-Tell-Make sequence is useful as an example of using your voice to assert yourself; the context and your judgment will determine where you start in that sequence, if at all.  Using your voice assertively and preemptively is a useful tool for self-protection; however, there is no single solution that fits all scenarios.  Use your judgment, be mentally ready, and always be ready to act!

Train smart & stay safe,

Evan D.
Owner/Lead Coach
NOVA Self Defense
www.novaselfdefense.com

If you are looking for a fun, active, self-defense training experience, setting up a self-defense party is a unique way to have a good time while learning some potentially life-saving skills. 

For people who might be uncomfortable in a group seminar environment, learning with a group of friends or family is a comfortable alternative. 

I recently conducted two self-defense parties:

• A sweet 16 birthday party for a girl whose mother had trained with us and enjoyed the experience
• and a bachelorette party for a group of ladies that wanted a fun, athletic activity

Both groups had a great time with the training; in fact the bachelorette group may have had too much fun doing our Ask-Tell-Make verbal scenario, when they role-played creepy dudes persistently encroaching on each other!

For these sessions we can come to you or hold the training at one of our facilities in Falls Church, Virginia.  
Email or call us for more information! 

[email protected]  or 919-302-0440

Train smart, stay safe, & have fun,

Evan D
Owner/Lead Coach
NOVA Self Defense
www.novaselfdefense.com

2015 has been all about being consistent and going back to fundamentals for me.  I have been going back to the enjoyment of being a student.  I’ve hired a boxing coach to help me refine my striking fundamentals. I’ve started working on my Judo and grappling, which has been a humbling experience, and I’ve also delved into Japanese Kempo, a stand-up martial arts style which is reminiscent of Cuong Nhu, the style I used to practice regularly.  The school I’ve been training with does a lot of light-contact sparring, which for me is good for improving my cardio and timing.  Part of this transition back to being a student is to make me comfortable with being outside my comfort zone.  Soon I will be taking some private lessons in Defense Lab, and I also plan to seek out some combative training with Kelly McCann to further broaden my perspective.
I'll post an update on the Defense Lab training once I get some hands on training in it!



Evan D
NOVA Self Defense 
Owner/Lead Coach
www.novaselfdefense.com